When I hear the word broken, I imagine a shattered vase or a broken clock. We can take both objects and try to either clue the pieces back together or we can try to fix the error in the system. However, once the object has broken for the first time, one of two things can happen. First, a piece could go missing and now, there is a hole or a gap in the exterior. Or, we exchange the broken part for another time-limited piece. With both objects in mind, fixing these two things will never restore it back to its original state. That’s why many of us who have reached that place of brokenness feel as though we’re worthless or no longer of good use.
What we don’t realize is that we are not material objects that have been crafted by man. We are vessels of God and because of our creator, being broken does not hold the same meaning. Yea, you may feel as though you have reached your end or that the world around you is dim but there is power in a man called Jesus! He can see our broken areas and instead of seeing something damaged, He sees power and meaning.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds – Psalm 147:3
I know a few years back I struggled with seeing how I could be restored because I never thought I would be at a place of brokenness. I grew up in the church and I thought that I had enough of God to carry me through. Little did I know, my relationship with God wasn’t based on my own merits but my parents, and because of that, I struggled with acceptance of who He was. For a long time, I struggled with insecurities, and eventually, I got to a place that felt empty. Once I reached that point of feeling empty, life felt lonely. I couldn’t explain how I felt to others because it was hard to describe but before I knew it, my world grew dark. I begin to battle with depression as well as anger. I could hide who I was around strangers but around my family, my emotions were no longer controlled. I had to face my true reality and realize that my wounds couldn’t be fixed by being in a relationship or isolating myself from the world. My methods of protection caused more damage and all that was left was a trail of destruction. I couldn’t see the path that lied ahead of me because there was no light. Being in a place that feels dark, will have you thinking that you are broken beyond repair.
Changing who I was, was hard because I didn’t want to recognize the ugly parts of me. God had to bring me to a place where I developed a new definition of change. The word change in my vocabulary became, “a process that happens when the vessel can no longer work under the same system.” God was telling me that in order to see a change I had to let Him in and allow Him to be my operator. Thankfully, I was shown mercy and grace! God came in and He held me so close that I couldn’t run even if I tried. His love was so fulfilling that I desired to have a relationship with Him. Through that relationship, I soon realized that my past no longer hindered me and I begin to see the vision that God had for my life.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10
For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future – Jeremiah 29:11
I had to learn that being broken didn’t mean I was at my end. It meant, that I was at a starting point for my journey and as I continued following after God, healing and wholeness begin to seep into my heart. Now, I no longer think the same or act the same because I was mended by the mercy and grace of God.
I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord. – Isaiah 66:9
We must remember that we are not man-made objects and the meaning of repair differs from God’s meaning. We have a God who is so powerful that when He repairs, He doesn’t use the same pieces to fix us…He takes parts of Himself to glue us back together.