I heard this quote recently, and it says, “It doesn’t matter what YOU call me but it does matter what I answer to.” It taught me that people only see you how they choose to define you, but it doesn’t mean that you have to accept that identity. One of the greatest fears that I believe we all have is the fear of being judged. So many of us are stuck in the past, and we feel that we will never break free from names or people, places, or things that may have had a grip on our lives.
We have to understand that there is power in your name, and when we turn to Jesus, He makes us all into new creatures, so who I was in my past is not and does not have to be who I am today. Choosing what you answer to is the power that God has given us all. But what the enemy does is that he tries to weaken that authority by allowing us to only focus on past mistakes. The enemy’s only purpose is to try and make us fall because he doesn’t want us to walk in our true identities knowing that it will glorify God.
It takes strength and courage to share with others things that we have been through because we fear judgment. We fear that people will only see or focus on the negative, but today, I have someone who isn’t afraid to speak out about her past because she knows within her heart that who she was is not who she currently is. So today, I want to shine the light on a dear friend, and her name is MaKalah Harris!

I always used to hear that saying, when you make plans, GOD laughs. I didn’t understand it when I was younger, but I do now. It may not be a scripture in the Bible, but that quote is so true to me. For example, when I was younger, I wanted to be married by 25, have five children, and be rich. Obviously, that was not GODs plan for me at all. I am 24 with zero children and not rich at all, lol. It was hard for me to understand that wasn’t what God had intended for me; it was a hard pill to swallow. I would cry and cry, and I would be so angry and upset with myself and God. I felt defeated. I saw so many people in my age category having children and getting married. They were doing well for themselves. I often asked God, why can’t that be me? Why have you not blessed me! God said to me, Makalah, you are on the outside looking in; what other people have is not meant for you. WHEW, okay, Jesus. God told me to be still, to have patience, and to wait on God almighty. I was verbally and financially abusive by a man I thought would be my husband. I stayed with him because of my insecurities. I wasted five years of my life because I wanted what other women in my age category had. Let’s all say BUT GOD! GOD pulled me out, and like my good sister, Richelle said God literally snatched me by my hair out of that relationship. It didn’t feel good; it Hurt! It wasn’t as bad as how my ex hurt me though. Now that I am free, I have flourished. I lost 100 pounds and counting, I finally got my driver’s license, and I just moved into my first apartment. My life has turned around tremendously. God couldn’t bless me in no mess! That whole relationship was a mess; God wasn’t included in that relationship. I say all of this because I want women of God to know that it’s okay to be by themselves, it’s okay not to be in a relationship, it’s okay not to have children right now. God told me I needed to focus on him and his word to focus on the Lord. I am not perfect, and sometimes I fail and mess up, but I am forgiven each time through God’s grace and mercy. I choose to wait on the Lord. I choose to know that God will fulfill the desires of my heart, not on my timing but on his PERFECT TIMING.
I want to stress that we are not defined by what we do but by who we listen to. Your identity is attached to who you serve. G-O-D is not the same as g-o-d because when you serve G-O-D, your identity is not connected to this world, so what others see as impossible, God says it is possible! It may not have worked out for others, but it will work out for you because of God’s grace and mercy. So I am here to say, don’t let others define who you are because honesty in today’s day in time, you don’t know if they are serving GOD or god. One way to know is by their actions because when God is moving in your life, it’s not just about receiving the blessing, but it’s equal parts to learning the lesson that God was teaching you through the process.
So, yes, to the world, if you are not in a relationship, you are known as single, but when we build a relationship with God, we are married and bonded to a man that will never fail us. God is our ultimate provider, and when you know that, you will never settle for less.
Thank you, MaKalah, for sharing your story! It was powerful, and I hope that all who have read this post will be blessed by what God is doing in your life. I pray that the same hope they witnessed in you, they will believe it for themselves!
Choose what you answer to today and know that you are precious to God, and He loves you more than you can think or imagine. God is agape love, and it’s bulletproof